The whole concept behind this blog is to help people love their hair. But I’ve realised, maybe I’ve been getting ahead of myself. How can you love an individual part of yourself, if you don’t love yourself as a whole? Maybe this post is actually a sign of my own mental breakdown… let’s just see how this evolves.
When did we start hating ourselves?
Let’s face it, you are either are one, or have been, but at some point, we’ve all been a teenager. It sucks. Your body is changing in ways you don’t understand, your skin gets greasier, as does your hair, and the people around you somehow get meaner. A lot of them seem to stay mean. As an adult you learn to either build a shell or just let it all glide straight off you. But at some point in all of our lives someone has probably said something mean about us.
When was the last time someone said something about you that upset you? Can you remember what it was? Now think about the last time someone complimented you, what did they say? Did you find it easier to remember the insult or the compliment? If it was the latter, then you are one of those amazing humans that is comfortable in their own skin and able to brush the insults away with ease. That or you’re just so beautiful inside and out that no one has a bad word to say about you. Which is also pretty amazing.
Steer clear of the social media trap.
So, how to love yourself? How to become that person that just effortlessly does their own thing? To be honest, I haven’t a bloody clue. But I can tell you that you will not find it by comparing yourself to influencers on social media. That’s a good place to start. Delete Instagram. Delete Facebook. Unfortunately, it’s too easy to reinstall. Which is what a lot of people I speak to say they end up doing. Follow people who are real. Friends. By this I mean people who you actually communicate with beyond liking each other’s posts.
I’m guilty of it as well. I actually follow people who I have never met in other countries who share so much of their daily lives that I actually feel like I know them, and almost idolise them. They paint their lives as being so wonderful and exciting, even the hard times are almost enjoyable. How inspiring that they face challenges so well!
Happiness is key to confidence
Back to the matter at hand… I have met people while working as a hairdresser who are so comfortable in their own skin that nothing phases them. Honestly, I feel like I could shave their heads and they’d be cool with it. From what I can gather these people are not materialistic at all. They wear their clothes until they fall apart and replace them with things from charity shops. Status is not an issue to them. These people live to be happy, not rich. Where does this happiness come from? Surrounding themselves with like-minded people, spending time with them and doing things.
The people around you
A lot of the key to loving yourself comes from being surrounded by people that love you for you. Don’t ever let anyone bring you down. If you find yourself having to compete or struggle to keep up with your friends, then they’re not your friends. Quality not quantity. One person who loves you for you and cares for you is more valuable than 10 people who don’t. Be careful though, my select few friends are all chasing their dreams and moving to other countries. And I’m not talking Wales.
The importance of a good hairdresser
It’s easy enough to sit here and blame social media or people’s selfish needs for our own misery, but this still doesn’t make it any easier to look in the mirror and enjoy what’s reflected back at you. Sometimes you just need to put on a kick-ass outfit, and tell yourself you look great. Compliment yourself. You are beautiful in your own right. My job as a hairdresser is to focus on your best features, compliment them and make them stand out. Most people will be able to answer what their single favourite feature about themselves is. Answer that now, and enjoy that best feature.
I’m no psychologist, but I spend my days talking to people about some of the greatest, and some of the darkest times of their lives. It’s amazing what people share with their hairdresser. And it’s incredible humbling to be able to form such beautiful relationships with people. I think this post is a reflection on why I started this blog. To help people be the best version of themselves every day.
There’s nothing more satisfying than watching someone literally bounce out of the salon, feeling both physically and mentally lifted. I want my readers to be able to tap into that feeling. As we progress, I will be doing tutorials and a side of the blog for hairdressers to help them with the challenges we face. It’s a physically and mentally demanding job, but we do it out of pure love for the craft and for what we can do for others.
Ultimately, it’s really fucking hard to love yourself. This post was never going to be able to tell you how to do that. 1200 words would never be enough. But know that it is possible. Every day you pick at a flaw, find a perfection. Remind yourself that you are living your life for you, no one else.
Forget about everyone else.
I live and work in London, I tell myself that this has a huge effect on my happiness and ability to appreciate myself. But in reality, it’s happening globally. This need to constantly compare ourselves to others. We are always having to strive for more, to be better. Have the latest technology, go on the finest holidays, get to the top of your career ladder. But at what cost? Work 20 hours a day to make enough money to buy a big house that you barely live in because you are a slave to a corporate monster? Sorry, 16-year-old me is bubbling to the surface…
My ultimate, concluding point is that sometimes we just need to be content. You don’t need to be the best at anything other than being yourself. Once you realise what brings you joy, you won’t sweat the small stuff. When you find this happiness you will be able to look in the mirror and be content with what you see. You will fall in love with yourself.
If you want to talk, get in touch via the social media links below.
The Hair Bones.